High School Cromartie Days In Flux Ten
by Roxius
Summary: Cromartie rulez! A series of random Cromartie drabbles, staring all different characters and situations beyond normal understanding! No pairings. Please R & R!
1. The Truth Is Not Something To Be Seen

A/N: May end up becoming a series of 'Cromartie High School' shorts; mainly around 500 words or more or less! It depends on reviews!

* * *

_Within the classrooms of Cromartie High..._

Leaning back in his desk, Takashi Kamiyama stared at the ceiling for a while when a thought came to him.

"...I've been thinking..." he remarked under his breath.

"...About the tomatoes, Kamiyama?" Shinjiro Hayashida asked, glancing up from his graphic novel.

"No! Not this time, Hayashida! Not this time!" Standing up, the scene zoomed in close to Kamiyama's face as he then exclaimed, "THERE'S SOMETHING I WISH TO KNOW THE ANSWER OF!"

Several other thugs also stood up and gasped, "SOMETHING...YOU WISH TO KNOW THE ANSWER OF?!"

"Is...is that even possible?!" cried Takeshi Hokuto.

"OF COURSE IT'S POSSIBLE!" Kamiyama proclaimed, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE...WITH SCIENCE!"

An awkward silence filled the classroom.

"...What were we talking about again?" Hayashida asked, his purple mohawk flapping about.

Kamiyama sighed. "UGH! JUST LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, OKAY?"

"We're listening! We're listening! Just speak your mind, Kamiyama!"

Striking a valiant pose, Kamiyama exclaimed, "I WANT..."

"Yes? Yes?"

"...TO KNOW..."

"Yes? Yes?"

"...THE TRUTH..."

"Yes?! Yes?!

"...ABOUT FREDDIE AND HIS PAST!"

Another awkward silence, and the Gorilla let out a dissatisfied grunt.

Placing his finger against his wide forehead, Hayashida replied, "Umm...no offense, Kamiyama, but we've already tried getting Freddie to speak...multiple times! It's really just a waste to even try anymore at this point. Seriously, he's an awesome badass... and that's all the info we need about that guy."

Slamming his palms onto his desk, Kamiyama shouted, "THAT'S EXACTLY IT, HAYASHIDA! Freddie...our dear, dear friend Freddie...could actually be a poor lost soul in need...and because his depression and broken mental constitution keep him from speaking, he has no way of obtaining help! Besides...THE GUY LOOKS LIKE FUDGIN' FREDDIE MERCURY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?! I...GOTTA...KNOW!"

"Whoa...gettin' a little KRABBY, aren't ya? Listen, Kamiyama, I think you need to calm the hell down!" Akira Maede snapped, glad to finally have a line of dialogue.

"Forget it...I'LL GO AND FORCE THE ANSWERS OUT OF HIM!" Before anyone could stop him, Kamiyama jumped up and ran out into the hallway.

"KAMIYAMA...YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE FOOLISH PATH YOU'RE TAKING! COME BACK!" Hayashida exclaimed, although he hadn't bothered getting up from his seat at all.

Eventually, Kamiyama reached his destination: the classroom where Freddie was located. Placing his hand on the door, Kamiyama thought, 'Alright, this is it! MY TIME TO SHINE! MY TIME TO GET SOME RECOGNITION! MY TIME...TO LEARN ABOUT FREDDIE?!"

'Okay...how should I approach this? I could just ask him outright...but then he'd probably feel pressured and push me away! I could try and give him a hug, and COAX the answers out of his mute moustache...but that would take alot of work, and possibly cost me my life as well! Argh...I'm just gonna have to wing it...AND UNLEASH MY FURY!'

Letting out a victory howl, Kamiyama swung open the classroom door...

"FREDDIE, I-"

...and saw Shinichi Mechazawalying in a futon along with several naked women. For some reason, the floor was covered in candles with little flames glittering about. Glancing up, Mechazawa waved and called, "Hey, Kamiyama! Wanna join? It's free..."

Without a word, Kamiyamaclosed the door and walked back to his own classroom. He didn't say anything for the rest of the day, leaving Maede and Hayashida rather bamboozled.

'...Well, that worked out better than I had hoped...'


	2. Why can't I write One Piece fanfiction!

Chapter 2: Why can't I write One Piece fanfiction when the series is just so FREAKIN' AWESOME?!

* * *

It was a beautiful Sunday morning (since Japanese kids have school on Saturday, Sunday is the only day they get off), and Freddie and Gorilla were fishing in a stream. A small empty plastic bag laid next to them, and neither had even gotten a single bite as of yet. Sighing, Gorilla glanced at Freddie and let out a small grunt.

Returning the glance, Freddie nodded and stood up. He took in a deep breath and then dived into the stream. The moment he went underneath the rushing water, he vanished. The Gorilla watched in silence as he awaited for Freddie to come back to the surface. Eventually, the mute man popped his head out of the water, a small fish caught underneath his moustache.

Walking out of the water and dripping wet, Freddie placed the fish into the plastic bag and zipped it up tightly. Then, the odd couple headed up the hill and down the side of the road, not a single word traded between them. As the evening sun began to drop behind the mountains, the skies darkened and fireflies came out to continue their mating season, barely illuminating the road ahead.

Freddie and the Gorilla had walked for about an hour when suddenly Moto-Mechazawa zoomed by, with Kamiyama sitting backwards on top of it.

"HEY, FREDDIE AND GORILLA! BYE, FREDDIE AND GORILLA!" he quickly called before he had vanished off into the darkness of night.

...And that was all that happened.


	3. Jokes Spoken by Ishikawa Are Forbidden

A/N: All thoughts in this chapter are of Yamaguchi's, obviously.

* * *

Chapter 3: Jokes Are Forbidden

It was a rather boring day at Destrade High School, and the first-year students were just standing around and blabbing about nonsense when Jun Ishikawa rushed into the room, sweaty and out of breath.

"Whoa! Ishikawa...what the hell happened to ya?!" cried a random punk.

"Heh...heh heh...oh man..." Ishikawa breathed, "You...y-you guys...you won't believe...hah ha hah...god, it was so frickin' funny...the j-joke I just heard...I almost...I almost died laughing...wa ha ha..."

Noboru Yamaguchi, who was just sitting at his desk, glanced up the moment he heard the word 'joke' uttered from Ishikawa's upturned lips.

'A...a joke?! Did he just say he heard a hilarious joke? Hmph...knowing Ishikawa, it was probably some joke about poop or sex or some other kind of vulgar demeaning idea used for the worst kinds of jokes. It probably wasn't even really that funny, either, because Ishikawa wouldn't know good humor even if it kicked his ass seven times...in five minutes! Ah, well...I might as well listen in on it and judge this so-called joke for myself...'

"C'mon, tell us the joke, Ishikawa!" begged one of the guys. Taking a long drink of water, Ishikawa tried to stay calm as he took a few deep breathes; the joke was apparently so funny that just thinking about it made him almost go into hysterics again.

'JUST TELL THE GODDAMN JOKE ALREADY!'

Ishikawa nodded, and then was silent for a while. "Uh...I forgot."

"YOU FORGOT?!" everyone cried, except for Yamaguchi.

'He forgot?! Is he really that stupid?! No...no...wait, maybe it's a trap! Maybe it's part of the joke...he's acting it out the same way he had witnessed it himself only moments ago! That could very well be what's happening here! Still...there's a good probability he really did forget it, considering what a huge idiot he is. Argh...I'm just over-thinking this. However, if Ishikawa really did forget the joke, I'm gonna be pissed...'

Suddenly, Ishikawa gasped and exclaimed, "Ah, yeah! I remember it now!"

'Oh, so he DID forget...just as I suspected. Now I can finally judge this joke he's heard...and determine it's worth in the mysterious, unforgiving world of comedy...'

"Alright...so," Ishikawa began, "A guy and a dog walk into a bar..."

'A...a guy? A dog? A guy and a dog?! That kind of opening for a joke has been done to death and back...and then back to death again! No joke like that is funny anymore...idiots! Jokes are supposed to be more specific and have much more variety than something like this! Argh! No one would laugh at a joke about a man and a dog going into a bar except uneducated idiots like you guys! The first few lines, and it's already apparent that this joke is going to be nothing but shit. I really don't want to hear this...IT'S GONNA SUCK! IT'LL KILL ME, I JUST KNOW IT! He better shut up right now or I swear to god, I'll...'

"...they walk into the bar and sit down at the counter. Then, the dog holds up his paw and says, "My pet here would like-"

'...I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.'

Getting up from his seat, Yamaguchi ran over and began pummeling Ishikawa in the face. For the rest of the day, the other delinquents tried their best to stay on their afro-sporting leader's good side..


	4. Beat it Out! Not As Great As The Others!

Chapter 4: Break Out!! Freedom for All, Freedom for None! A.K.A. I'm not too happy with how this came out.

"GUYS! GUYS! BAD NEWS! MAEDA'S BEEN KIDNAPPED AGAIN!" Kamiyama exclaimed as he rushed into the classroom.

Standing up, Hayashida snapped, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?! That guy is just a magnet for trouble, isn't he?!"

"Well, what do we do, Kamiyama?!" asked one of the random unnamed punks.

"WE GOTTA SAVE HIM! C'MON!"

As quickly as they could, Kamiyama, Hayashida and the other classmates quickly suited up for battle, and grabbed any wooden swords, brass knuckles or plastic sporks they could find. Freddie decided to dress up in Dark Knight armor and he brandished a large spiked sword, and he seemed even more menacingly dangerous riding atop his giant horse.

Leaning close to Kamiyama, Hayashida whispered, "Uh...I think Freddie should stay here..."

"...Yeah...I agree..." Kamiyama replied, a bit worried as he watched Freddie practice his jousting.

However, before anything could be done, Freddie rode off and down the street at high speeds on his beloved chariot horse.

"...Shit..."

"OH CRAP! HE'S GOING INTO TOWN...WHATTA WE GONNA DO?! WHATTA WE GONNA DO?!" Kamiyama freaked.

Grabbing Kamiyama by the shoulders, Hayashida shouted, "Calm down, man! We just...we just gotta catch him! Alright?! We need to hurry before it's too late!"

Having completely forgotten about rescuing Maeda, practically every student at Cromartie High joined in the search for Freddie, who they eventually found holding a wealthy bank-owner up at sword point.

"BAD FREDDIE! BAD! LEAVE THE NICE MAN ALONE! BAD FREDDIE!" Kamiyama exclaimed, while Hayashida was busy apologizing over and over for their friend's misdemeanor.

By the time they all returned to school, Maeda was already waiting for them.

"Oh...hey, Maeda." Kamiyama said with a quick wave before walking past him. No one else seemed to have acknowledged the fact that their friend had once again somehow escaped from his captors.

'Those bastards don't understand anything...' Maeda thought, spitting to the side in anger. However, his spit ended up hitting Mini-Mechazawa.

"Meka-ratta..."


	5. A Legendary Battle With Punching!

Chapter 5: A Legendary Battle With Kicking and Punching?!

--

Kamiyama was sitting at his desk, reading a book, when he overheard Hayashida and Maeda talking to one another.

"Hey, Maeda..."

"Yeah, Hayashida?"

"Remember that 'Legendary Battle' we had during August...?"

"...Oh, yeah! I do!"

Kamiyama glanced up. 'A...a Legendary Battle? During August? But I was at this school by that time! When was there a Legendary Battle?'

"Yeah...I used an uppercut, right?"

"Uh-huh...and I countered with a guard."

'An uppercut? A guard? And...they were fighting each other?' Kamiyama thought to himself.

"I had to back up, and let the other two guys jump in and wear you down."

"Hmm...those two were tough. However...I easily slaughtered them into their graves with my mad sword skills."

'S-SWORD SKILLS?! OTHER GUYS?! WHAT?!' Kamiyama thought to himself.

"Luckily, I was able to grab the power-up just in time, and I practically smashed your skull right through your ass!"

"Well, I had been smart enough to have placed a bomb ahead of time, and you ended up getting yourself nearly killed!"

'W-WHAT KIND OF LEGENDARY BATTLE WERE THEY HAVING?!' Kamiyama wondered.

"I used some food on the ground to heal myself before I ran in to pummel you again!"

"But! I charged my super beam and sent you flying!"

'WHOA! WHOA!' Kamiyama thought, his amazement growing.

"I still had one life left, and you had two...but you were already close to death, and I needed to take out that second life before I took too much damage so I can make the score more even between us..."

"I was gonna take that lying down, though, and I did everything I could to try and hurt you! I even used my ray gun! In the end, though, I came out on top, Maeda..."

'GREATEST...FIGHT...EVER!' Kamiyama decided.

"Yeah...that was fun, wasn't it, Hayashida?"

"Yup! I love playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl!"

'THEY WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME?!' Kamiyama gasped.

Later on, he was seen sulking in the bathroom for the rest of the school day...


	6. Mechazawa Is Discovered

Chapter 6: Mechazawa Is Discovered?!

--

Mechazawa felt a bit nervous as he stood outside the repair shop. 'It had been so long since I last came here...' he thought to himself, 'Can...can I really do this? Can I...take a chance with the wild ones?'

Taking in a deep breath, he waddled his way inside. The place still looked the same as it did so many years ago.

He looked up to the counter, where a young woman was sitting at a desk and flipping through a magazine, a bored look plastered her face.

"Umm...excuse me?" Mechazawa said bashfully.

The woman glanced up from her magazine, stared at Mechazawa for a moment, and then snapped, "Yeah...what the hell do ya want?!"

"There's...there's something I need fixed..." Mechazawa stammered. Normally, he was calm and collected, but being inside the repair shop broke down that yankee exterior of his.

"Let me guess...your face?" the woman joked, not sparing a single harsh word.

Mechazawa shook his head, and then placed a radio on the counter. "No. I need you people to fix my radio. I'm not good with machines in the slightest!"

An awkward silence filled the entire building.

Slowly, the woman picked up the radio and replied, "Sure...I'll take it...be back here by 3 tomorrow, and it'll most likely be fixed by then..."

Reaching into his pocket, Mechazawa plopped several yen dollars onto the counter. "Here is my money for the repairs."

"It's good doing business with you..."

Mechazawa nodded, and then walked out.

--

That night, as the woman from the radio shop was climbing into bed, she yawned and thought about all the annoying people she had met today. And then...

'OH MY GOD! THAT GUY WAS A ROB-'

"FAGGOTS."


	7. No Internet Means No Happiness

Chapter 7: No Internet Means No Happiness

A/N: Only a few chapters left.

--

It was easy to tell that Kiyoshi Fujimoto was in a sour mood; his brow was furrowed, his teeth were clenched, his eyebrows twinkled every now and then. Of course, he looked like this every day, so maybe it really wasn't so easy to tell after all.

Anyway...

"The boss looks really pissed." one of the Manuel High School punks commented as the group watched their boss sulk in his seat. They all knew what a tough bad-ass there boss was, so they decided it would be best to just stand by and not doing anything to end up having to face his wrath.

'Argh...I can't believe it...the man who I once respected enough to call father...he actually took away my computer!' Fujimoto thought, clenching and opening his fists several times over.

"Uh...boss?" asked one of the punks, reaching out to Fujimoto's shoulder. At that moment, Fujimoto stood up and quickly snatched the punk by the hand and clenched it so tightly it almost broke.

"AHH...AHH..."

Leaning close to his terrified classmate's face, Fujimoto hissed, "...Do you have a computer? An 8-bit giga-processor with 450 MB of memory and a GB capacity of 7000? Do ya, punk?!"

"Uh...no!"

"Then don't talk to me." Leaving it at that, Fujimoto pushed the guy away and sat back down. Everyone in the class was so afraid of his outburst that they ran off and even leaped out of windows just to get away.

As long as Fujimoto knew he would not be able to go on his computer after school that day, no one was safe from his unexplained wrath.

It pretty much went like this for the rest of the day...


	8. Our Reasons For School

Chapter 8: Our Reasons For School

A/N: Actually, I'm going to end the story here for now, unless I get new ideas or something. Once I get the manga, though, I'll probably be influenced to make another chapter, but we'll see. Next is something different:

WELCOME TO CRAPTURE! a BioShock crack fic. Please check it out and review when the first chapter is up!

* * *

Kamiyama was minding his own business when Hayashida walked up to his desk.

"...Kamiyama."

"Yes, Hayashida?"

Taking a seat on top of the desk behind him, Hayashida closed his eyes and an intense feeling filled the air. It was such an uncomfortably powerful aura that it caused Gorilla to jump out the window and run into town to buy a bag of ice and a snow cone to cool himself down.

Uneffected by said aura, Kamiyama remakred, "...What is it, Hayashida?"

Opening his eyes, Hayashida had a serious look on his face. He took in a deep breath, stared Kamiyama face-to-face, and asked, "Why do we come to school, Kamiyama?"

A real-life photo of a hobo is shown.

"...What?"

"Look," Hayashida explained, "What I'm trying to say is...well, we come to school every day, right? Yeah, we do. Yet...why do we do it? There's no teachers, no class schedule, no nothing. We don't learn anything, and we definitely don't do anything. So why do we even bother coming to school? Why don't we just stay at home or go out into town for the day, instead? Tell me the answer, Kamiyama! I need the answer!"

Kamiyama thought about it. 'You know...he's right, actually. Why DO we come to this rundown old school? We haven't had to crack open our textbooks even once! Then again...I'm not even sure if this school even has text books! Now that I think about it...is this really even a school? I mean...why isn't there a faculty? A principal? A janitor? Where all the things that make a school...well, a school? It just doesn't make any sense!'

"Well, Kamiyama?" Hayashida asked in hopes his friend knew the answer.

"I...don't know." Kamiyama sighed, covering his face.

An awkward silence formed between the two of them.

"...Now what?" Hayashida asked.

Standing up, Kamiyama exclaimed, "WHY, WE FIND OUT THE ANSWER OURSELVES, OF COURSE! C'MON, HAYASHIDA, LET'S GO!"

Then, he turned to Maeda. "You too, Maeda."

"WHAAAT?! WHY ME?!" Maeda snapped.

"Just come on..." Kamiyama said before heading out into the hallway with Hayashida.

Sighing, Maeda got up and followed after them...

* * *

"...Huh? Our reasons for school?" Hokuto asked, repeating Kamiyama's question. He and his lackey were busy giving Gorilla his bi-monthly back-washing, but Hokuto had decided to just leave the whole job to his pitiful lackey so he could speak with Kamiyama and the others.

"Yeah? Do you know why we bother coming to a school where we don't even learn?" Hayashida exclaimed.

Hokuto thought for a moment. "Uh...I don't have a clue."

"AUGH!"

"Hey, you! Get over here!" Hokuto barked to his lackey, who quickly ran over to them.

"Yes? What is it, Master Hokuto?" Hokuto's lackey asked.

"Tell me...do you know why we bother coming to school, even though we don't learn anything?" Hokuto asked him.

Hokuto's lackey scratched his chin and replied, "Well, maybe it's to make new friends...who have names? For instance, my name is-"

"ALRIGHT! LET'S GO, MEN!" Kamiyama exclaimed, and he and Hayashida and Maeda walked off. Oddly enough, Hokuto followed them as well.

Sighing, Hokuto's lackey thought, 'God, why can't I just tell them my name...?'

"It'll be okay." said one of the aliens standing next to him.

* * *

"...Huh? Our reasons for school?" Mechazawa asked in an incredulous tone.

"Yes! Tell us why we bother coming to school when we don't even learn anything!" Kamiyama exclaimed, the background showing an arctic tundra for some reason.

Mechazawa pulled Mini-Mechazawa out from his pocket and placed him on top of his desk.

"What do YOU think, little brother?" Mechazawa asked him.

"Meka-Ratta."

"...THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE." Hayashida snapped at the two of them.

"Particle Man, Particle Man, Doing The Things A Particle Can-"

"CUT IT OUT!"

Clutching his head as if in pain, Hayashida shouted, "DAMMIT! I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY DO WE BOTHER COMING TO THIS SCHOOL WHEN WE DON'T EVEN LEARN ANYTHING?!"

Suddenly, Kamiyama came to a sudden realization. "I get it now. I KNOW THE TRUTH!"

Hayashida gasped and cried, "Kamiyama...is this true? Tell me! What is the answer?"

Kamiyama sighed and closed his eyes. "Well...uh...actually...the only reason we even bother going to school is because...err...this series couldn't be called 'Cromartie High' if we just stayed at home...maybe?"

Everyone was silent for a few minutes.

"Kamiyama...that answer sucks."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT; IT'S THE TRUTH!"

Then, the final bell rang.


End file.
